内地民眾的一些氣… 1.香港带两罐奶粉到大陆算走私,那大陆带两罐奶粉到香港算贩毒吗? 2.以前觉得要是以后没挣到钱,就买公交车,比什么跑车都拉风。。。后来才知道一辆公交车要一百多万,于是伤心的打消这个想法。不过转而一想,我每天都是坐着上百万的车出门,这不就是传说中的富二代吗。一种优越感油然而生,顿时就释怀了。 3.私企:用半个人的工资雇一个人干两个人的活,国企:用两个人的钱雇一个人干半个人的活。公务员:用两个半人的工资雇一个人TMD却没半个人干活。 4.记者问一农民,墓地贵,死不起怎么办?农民答,那就让死得起的先死。 5.你的子女都移民国外了,你让我在国内学雷锋。我喝杯牛奶都致癌了,你让我学雷锋。中石化都团购宾士了,你还让我学雷锋!你吃着万元大餐坐豪车住别墅拿着高额福利到处xxx,我吃着地沟油孩子喝着假奶粉累死累活每月三千还要上税…你还让我老老实实学雷锋,学雷锋学雷锋,你是让我学雷锋早点去死吗? 6.吃不到放心奶粉,去香港买却要坐牢;工作十年存点钱想换房,却要多交20%收益税;我吃着地沟油,含着毒胶囊,泪流满面看着新闻联播里的人民幸福的生活,还不能说自己是屌丝,不然冯小刚会说我是自贱! 7.有个国家,我对它说:你的房事过度了,必须要控制。然后它说:对的,它要控制下房事。最后,它出台了控制房事的政策,就是—–税我!税我!税我。 8.刚有一朋友问我。为什么中国对朝鲜这么好?旁边一人回答。因为倒数第二就怕倒数第一转学。尼玛。神回答啊。 9.网上大家都在议论要给PM2.5取中文名字。——严肃点就叫〝公雾源〞,高端点就叫:〝京尘〞,霸气点就叫〝尘疾思汗〞,乐观点就叫〝尘世美〞,娱乐点就叫〝尘惯吸〞,但总是觉得差了点什么,直到那五个字映入眼帘,我才明白了中文的强大:喂人民服雾……
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